Nine Herkans
by CallingAllGazFans
Summary: Zim is planing to do something horrible to Dib and it goes on from there. This is my first fic so be nice k? ZAGR.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own it k?

Chapter One

Deep in his underground base, Zim prepared an amazing chemical of amazingness. It was so amazing, everybody would all be amazed.

"No earth pig smelly has ever done something like this!" he said loudly, halfway through the procedur. "They are all too stupid. None of them are as smart as Zim!"

Suddenly Gir ran up to him, munching on a taco. "Whatcha doin', Masta?" the little robot asked.

"I am making something to give the Dib-monkey the shock of his life!" Zim said gloatingly. "Zim can not wait to see the look on his face when Zim gives this to the Dib-monkey! I will never have such a laugh! Maybe he will die from the sheer shock of it, and then this stinking ball of dirt will all be MINE!"

"But I like Big Head Boooy!" Gir started to cry.

"Well, after this he'll be the Big Head, never mind," said Zim, adding the finishing touches.

"Big head what, Masta? Big Head what?"

Without ansering, Zim finished making it and poured it into a bottle, capped the bottle and shook it, laughing wildly. He threw back his head and laughed so much that Gir laughed although he didn't know what he was laughing at. There was a small laughing Zim down below, and a big laughing Zim reflected all up and down the lab wall.

Zim couldn't wait! This was going to be too good!


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own it k?

Chapter Two

The next day at skool, Zim sat in his desk, smirking at the Dib-monkey, so unaware of what was going to happen! He kept reaching into his desk every two seconds to touch and rub the bottle of formula as if he couldn't believe something so wonderful could really still be there. Oh, he could not wait until lunchtime!

When lunchtime finally came, Zim barely managed to wait until Dib opened his pop, then distracted Dib by saying, "Look! There's something paranormal!" When Dib turned to look shouting, "Where?" Zim quickly poured the formula into his pop.

He then sat down to watch Dib drink it. Or at least Dib would drink it, as soon as he stopped looking for the paranormal thing that wasn't even there.

Gaz came along and sat down next to Dib. Good, so she would get to see it too. How she would laugh at him! It would make this even sweeter.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Gaz sat down next to Dib, promptly punched Dib, then reached over and grabbed the pop in front of him. Before Zim could stop her, she had gulped it all down, every drop of it.

"What was that for?" Dib rubbed his arm.

"That was the last soda," she told Dib, "so that means it's mine." She opened her lunch and started to eat it.

"Huh?" Dib looked at her and asked her what she said. "What did you say Gaz? Huh? What did you say?"

"Weren' t you listening?" Gaz asked. "Never mind, you never listen." She took out her Game Slave and began playing. "And don' t talk to me now, I'm in the zone."

When Gaz finished her lunch, she burped loudly and wiped her mouth on her sleeve. Zim hit his head on the table over and over again.

Thank you for the review. Next chapter' ll be longer I promise.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

When they went home from skool that day Dib ran out to spy on Zim and Gaz sat down to play Vampire Piggy Hunter. But she almost lost her game a couple of times because her chin was itching so much that she scratched it and rubbed it but it would not stop itching.

Then she decided to go to the kitchen to get some cereal for a snack. She opened the box and found most of the cereal was gone just as the door opened and Dib ran in, all excited over something stupid as usual. Gaz was just starting to yell at him over the cereal being all gone, when she realized her voice sounded funny. It sounded deeper than usual.

It even startled Dib. He said "Gaz what happened to your voice?" but then he looked up and said "Oh my God Gaz what' s on your face?"

"Nothing is on my face, stupid," Gaz started to say but that started her chin to itch all over again and she put up her hand and to her shock and horror she now had a beard all over her face!

"What' s that?"

"It looks like a beard to me," said Dib. "How did you get that, Gaz?"

"I didn' t do anything to get it!" Gaz snapped. "What did you put in that soda Dib?"

"Nothing! Nothing at all! Nothing I swear!" Dib protested as Gaz chased him all around the house. After twenty minutes of doing that Gaz started to wonder if maybe Dib had done nothing to the pop after all.

"Did anything WEIRD happen at skool today?" Gaz demanded, now just shaking Dib by his trench coat front.

"N-n-n-o-o-o," Dib managed to say. "O-o-o-h-h, w-w-waitaminute, Zim t-t-t-told me there w-w-was a paran-n-n-normal thing at l-l-l-l-lunch."

"You're both crazy." Gaz let go of his lapels. She pulled back her fist to really let Dib have it this time. "Wait right there, I need to pee," said Gaz. She went to the bathroom, locked the door, took down her pants, and fainted.


	5. Chapter 5

I don't own it k?

Chapter Five

"Gaz? Gaz! Are you okay in there? GAZ!" Dib shouted, knocking on the door.

"Shut up Dib, I' ll come out when I' m good and ready," Gaz started to say, but remembered why she was lying on the floor and how she got there. She stood up and threw the door open, furious at Dib. Her pants were down.

Dib stared, realized he was staring at his sister, and hastily covered his eyes.

"Explain THIS!"

Dib didn't know what he was to explain. He couldn' t see anything else different about Gaz, other than her full, flowing mustash and beard, that is.

"Look down stupid!" Gaz finally screamed.

When she lifted her fist he closed one eye and quickly glanced down, but then he couldn' t look away.

"GAZ?" Below the waist she was exactly like him.

"This is certainly not an improvement!" she growled, grabbing Dib by the collar. "Fix it! Or I'll fix you!"

"I didn' t do this!" Dib gulped. "I don' t know how to fix it, because I didn' t do it!"

"Is this your idea of a joke? Because if it is it' s not funny!"

"I said already, I had nothing to do with this!"

Gaz narrowed her eyes still more. "Was it Zim?"

"It could have been, I don' t know! I - I never even heard of anything like this!"

"I am going to go see Zim myself, and do something you should of done a long time ago." Gaz announced, running for the door.

Gaz ran for Zim's house, and Dib ran after her.

By the time he got there, Gaz was leaning against the front door. She looked tired.

"What did you do to Zim? Is he still alive?" Dib panted.

Gaz grinned, a big wicked, sexy grin.

"He screamed a lot at first, but then he began to like it. They always do, even if they say they don' t. Maybe I should - " Gaz stood up straight, but the effort made her weave and nearly topple over, and when she stood up straight again her face was pale and her eyes positivly bulgeing. She leaned over the fence and puked her guts out.

Dib let Gaz lean on him and he lead her home.

He kept asking every chance he got what Zim looks like down there.

"I know everything else about him, and this is strictly in the interests of paranormal investigation, so what does he look like down there? I've never seen it, and I wouldn' t want to, so this is my only chance to find out. C' mon Gaz please?"

"Dib I swear if you do not shut up right this second I will... HRLLLK!"

--


	6. Chapter 6

I don't own it k?

Chapter Six

"Your' e WHAT?"

"I' m pregnant. I' m a boy now but I' m also pregnant. Explain THAT!"

While Dib was figuring out what was going on, much less how to explain it, there was a knock at the door. Dib went to answer it while Gaz lay on the couch and played video games, her half-eaten pickle sundae next to her.

When he opened the door, he saw Zim on the doorstep, with an angrier face than Dib had ever seen him before.

"I am here to speak to my mate!"

"There are no Irkens here!"

"I mean my," Zim made a disgusted face, "earth mate!" Zim was angry that this had happened in spite of all his efforts not to let it happen.

"Earth mate?" Dib looked confused. Zim couldn' t mean him... could he?

"I mean the Dib sister, who else would I mean?" Zim shouted. "Ever since she came over and... and, well, did what she did... we have been mates whether we like it or not!"

"Gaz! Someone' s here to see you!"

"If they don' t have pizza flavored ice cream tell them to go away."

Zim walked up to the couch and stood there, looking down disapprovingly at Gaz, as if she was his ering daughter. "So. You' re pregnant."

"What else is news, genius."

Something occurred to Dib. "Wait a minute," he said. "If Gaz is a boy now, why is SHE pregnant? I mean HE? Or... oh, whatever!"

Zim turned to Dib, slowly and impatiently. He sighed and began to explain it as one might explain something to some one who was pretending not to know something that even an idiot would know.

"In the Irken species, the male gets pregnant, like your inferior earth water sea ponies -"

"Sea horses," Dib corrected.

"You knew nothing about it a second ago, don' t bother pretending to know anything about it now, Dib stink. This is how every other species in the universe does it. Why are you primitev earth pig smellies so far behind the rest of the universe?"

Dib decided he could get more information this way anyway. "Okay, so how long is h... sh... GAZ going to be pregnant?"

"I can speak for myself," Gaz snarled at this point. "Okay, so how long am I going to be pregnant?"

"Gee, I wish I'd said that," said Dib, but no one was listenting to him any more, which was actually a good thing for him.

"Nine herkans," said Zim.

"Which is how long down here?"

"Zim doesn' t know."

"What do you mean you don' t know?"

"What Zim said. Zim doesn' t know. All Zim knows is that a herkan is shorter than one of your inferior earth months."

"What will the baby look like?"

"We' ll just have to wait and see now won' t we?"

There was only one question left to ask.

"How will the baby get out? After all, I AM a boy now."

"You mean you don' t know?"

"No, I most certainly do NOT know!" Gaz lowered the game to the table. "Tell me."

"Well, there' s only one way for it to GET out, and it' s not your mouth. Think about it, Gaz sister."

Gaz made a wry face. She didn' t like this to begin with, and she liked it less every minute.

"You shouldn' t have done that to me, Gaz sister." said Zim smugly.

Gaz growled and went back to playing her game. She would usually doom anybody who said that to her, but she didn' t feel like running or doing any other such exercise any more these days.

--


	7. Chapter 7

I don't own it k?

Chapter Seven

Gaz got bigger and bigger every day. Before long she looked like she was going to burst and none of her clothes fit her any more. She had to order maturnety clothes online, which was time she didn' t have any more to play her video games. She didn' t like that.

She was also throwing up after every meal. Pregnant humans throw up for the first three months, and a herkan was shorter than a month, so that meant she had to do more throwing up to do in less time.

She had Dib paint her room white before she decorated her room with a crib and baby acesories. She still didn't know if she liked it or not, which for Gaz meant she must have been starting to like it. She said to herself she would teach the baby to play video games better than anybody else, except herself of course.

Every time she saw Zim, she glared her most fearsome death glare at him.

So now Zim had both Gaz AND Dib to deal with. It was going to be a long nine herkans for Zim!


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

I don't own it k?

Nine herkans (which turned out to be about three months in earth time) later, Gaz went into labor. Her (or his) water broke just as he (or she) sat down at lunch in the cafeteria. She (or he) screamed.

As everyone else stared at the green water streaming all over the floor, Zim and Dib raced each other for the skool nurse.

"I' ll call her! Gaz is my sister!"

"Zim will call the inferior earth skool nurse! Gaz is Zim' s mate!"

The skool nurse ran into the lunch room, wondering what was going on. She happned to know there weren't any pregnant girls at skool, this week. She pulled down Gaz' s pants and nearly fainted. Nothing in nurses college could have prepared her for this.

"Maybe I should of told her that he, or she was constipated," said Dib. The nurse didn' t know whether to tell her, or him, to go the bathroom or not.

After thirty five minutes of screaming in labor, Gaz gave birth to a cranky green baby smeet with short purple hair, tiny ears, an even tinier nose, and short antenas. Some of the skool children were sick, but they all made it to the next class on time.

Zim and Gaz named the baby smeet Zag, because it was a girl.

Everyone was happy except for Gir because he wasn't the baby any more.

The end.

Woo! I finished it just in time to go back to school. How' d' ja like it? Want me to write a sequel? About the baby smeet growing up?


End file.
